Strangely New York: For Contrary Canines, the Tables are Turned

By Mitch Broder

Several hundred dogs emailed to say they were offended by the sight of the plastic dogs in front of three New York City restaurants owned by David Burke.

They found Burke’s whimsical dog ornaments to be insensitive and demeaning, not to mention inedible. Some of the writers also complained about their smartphones’ tiny keyboards.

“Sure, Burke, just perpetuate the stereotype of a mindless mongrel standing outside on a leash with his tail in the air,” wrote an angry border collie. “Yeah, we’re all just patiently waiting for our master to polish off his great big plate of Roasted Seawater Soaked Organic Chicken.”

“You know what I’d like to see?” demanded an irate affenpinscher. “I’d like to see a dog restaurant with a fake person standing outside.”

I will not call Burke on the real dogs’ behalf, since he’s already mad that his fake dogs get stolen. But regarding the sarcastic restaurant request, I think I can help.

Indignant dogs should drag their owners to 34^th Street between Third and Lex, where they will find a café called Barking Dog. It is dog-friendly, though not friendly enough to actually let dogs in. But it has dog water pots near the outdoor tables. And it has a fake person standing outside.

The person is an artist, and the artist is a sculpture called “The Right Light.” The artist’s artist is J. Seward Johnson Jr.

Johnson is famous for his bronze statues of regular people. He is also an heir to Johnson and Johnson, which makes Listerine, which should have a dog version.

The sculpture belongs to the Affinia Dumont hotel next door. A staff member there told me that “people talk to it all the time.” Jenée Castellanos of The Sculpture Foundation told me that Johnson made it in 1983 and that it’s been at the hotel for about twenty-five years.

As for Barking Dog, it has several menu selections with “barking dog” in the name, as well as shepherd’s pie, though the menu spells it wrong.

Bitter dogs are free to mock the person-sculpture to their hearts’ content.

Any other means of expressing their hostility is not condoned here.

Catch “The Right Light” at Barking Dog, 150 East 34th Street, between Third and Lexington avenues, in Manhattan.

Strangely New York: At Least One Celebrity Chef is a Bit of a Wag

David Burke Townhouse.

By Mitch Broder

David Burke’s dogs don’t have faces, which is kind of creepy, though there’s something to be said for a dog without a mouth.

There’s also something to be said for a chef who puts faceless dogs in your face in front of three upmarket restaurants on the Upper East Side.

It’s a little thing. But it’s a droll thing. And that’s more than you typically get at the type of place that serves dishes like Hudson Valley Rabbit Degustation. The dogs disarm you. You crack a smile. You crack the jokes that everyone cracks. You have a moment of mirth on the sidewalk. You can’t argue with that.

Fishtail by David Burke.

A white plastic dog is tied by a red leash to a long wooden bench in front of David Burke Townhouse, on 61^st Street. Another white dog is tied by another red leash to a railing in front of Fishtail by David Burke, on 62^nd Street. An orange dog looks out the window, or would if it could, at David Burke at Bloomingdale’s, on 59^th Street. It has no leash; it’s indoors.

Kids sit on the dogs and get their pictures taken. Other dogs sniff the dogs because, plastic or not, they’re dogs. A few people have dognapped the dogs. But Burke has always replaced them. They’ve become a trademark. And they were conceived in a matter of principle.

Burke moved into a building that had just altered its pet policy. “If I’d moved in four months earlier I would have been able to have a dog,” he says. He fleetingly toyed with the idea of filling the foyer with toy dogs. He chose instead to be mature. He bought the toy dogs for himself.

“We’re serious restaurant people, but we want you to come and have fun,” he says. This is, after all, the man who also sells Cheesecake Lollipops.

And the dogs ask for so little, he adds: “They’re very loyal, don’t bark, there’s very little cleanup, and they’ve all had their shots.”

David Burke at Bloomingdale's.

Pet the trademarks at David Burke’s restaurants on the Upper East Side, in Manhattan.